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Midlife Crisis in Progress

I'm a single mom running a cottage food bakery out of our tiny, bottom of the line kitchen.

After 4 layoffs over the past 6 years, my career in software development is officially dead, and I'm mad about it.

Mad enough to say f*ck corporate America and do my own thing.

Join me as I battle the corporate overlords one batch at a time.

STALK ME

Currently

Stress Baking

Crisis Cookies

A delightfully average, 5in cookie cake. Ribbed for your pleasure.
Be naughty and take it all in one sitting.

Comfort

Crisis Cookie

When life turns to crap, there's nothing like eating a classic chocolate chip cookie to release some happy brain chemicals.

GIMME CAKE

Crack

Crisis Cookie

An insanely addictive oatmeal butterscotch cookie that may not help your waistline but is probably a better addiction than crack.

GIMME CAKE

Cosmic

Crisis Cookie

For days when you wish aliens would abduct you to escape the madness, this chocolate chunk brownie will have you seeing stars.

GIMME CAKE

Mother Fudger

Melt in your mouth fudge for when your butt's sore from life constantly kicking it.

Fudge Packer

Mother Fudger

Give in to temptation and indulge in this sinful mix of chocolate and peanut jizz. We can even make it crunchy for those with texture kinks.

PUCKER UP

Cult Joiner

Mother Fudger

One bite of this velvety chocolate fudge and you'll be under our spell forever.

*May cause uncontrollable smiling, warm & fuzzy feelings, tooth decay, & long term mental trauma.

PUCKER UP

Mallow Drama

Mother Fudger

Annoyed with the constant tantrums, we decided to show our baby mallows what a meltdown really looks like and tossed them in a pot with some white chocolate in an effort to preserve our sanity.

PUCKER UP

Moon Mallows

Oooey gooey marshmallows made with honey, star dust, and existential dread.

Lunar Rocks

Moon Mallows

Stolen directly from Buzz Aldrin's basement, these lunar rocks are the real deal. They've even retained the Moon's gravity, making them extra light and fluffy.

BEAM ME UP

Asteroids

Moon Mallow

Not to be confused with alien hemorrhoids, these astronomically gooey & crispy treats won't burn on the way out.

BEAM ME UP

Galaxy Swirl

Moon Mallow

Our poor attempt to recreate a galaxy we saw while hanging with the little green dude. What we saw was vibrant hues of blue and purple. What you get is two types of crispy mallow treats swirled together.

ALERT ME

Shooting
Stars

Moon Mallows

When you wish upon these star shaped crispy treats, absolutely nothing will happen. But you can disassociate like a champ while munching on them and dream about all the things you could've done with your life if you weren't broke and miserable.

BEAM ME UP

Crazy Cones

Conical confections for when hormones go berserk and your mood is as salty and sweet as your cravings.

Traffic Mix

Crazy Cone

For when you're hungry like a wolf and raging at traffic. Choose your mixtape flavor, and let the profanity fly.

CONE ME

Stabby Stabby

Crazy Cone

While we do NOT condone actually stabbing people, pretending to be psychotic while performing a stabbing motion in the general vicinity of your intended victim is an effective form of psychological warfare. Maybe today's the day Mom really loses her shit. Ya never know.

This mallow and crisp treat, shaped like a cone, and rammed on a stick, is an excellent prop for those stabby, stabby moments.

ALERT ME

Panic Pops

These creations pop when they get excited.

Party Popper

Panic Pop

Not so basic bitch popcorn. Ok, it's kinda basic bitch popcorn, but not. You'll get what I mean when you try it.

POP ME

Bumbling Brews

Cottage Food laws prevent us from doing much here, but oh the places we will go when we can make this happen.

Star Dew

Bumbling Brew

Spring water flavored with fruit essence, and a drop of shimmery dew, collected from the star we wish upon every night, but the bitch never listens.

HYDRATE ME

Mad

Lab

Experiments

Step into our basement and become willing participants in our random experiments.
Will the strange concoction be a resounding success or a complete falure?
That's for your to decide!

Fudgegasm

MadLab Experiment

What your partner lacks between the sheets, we make up for with this treat. These fudge clusters are pure bliss that'll leave your mouth salivating for more.

FUDGE ME

Sloppy Seconds

Random Spluge

You'll receive a cup of random leftovers from the creation process. One cup could have fudge runoff, and mallow turds. Another could have extra bits of crispy mallow treats. It all depends on what we make from week to week.

SPLUGE ME

Fabulous Floofs

Our furry emotional support system deserve treats too.

Tasty Turds

Fab Floofs

Got a grass grazing pooch who thinks turds are tasty treats? Our turds are undigested and maggot free so they're admittedly less exotic, but you won't have to worry about fecal transfer if your pup gives you a surprise french kiss after eating.

FLOOF ME