.png)
_edited.png)
.png)
.png)
YourPoison
Pick
.png)
.png)
.png)
a Control Freak?
Are you
Or just Picky or Not Local and Patient?
The Poison Menu is for you!
The Poison Menu is where you can order almost anything at any time.
The catch is you have to wait for it.
​
Goodies here are made fresh upon ordering and customizable to suit your delicate tastebuds.
​
Average turnaround time is 1-2 business days.
You'll get an email and/or text updates along the way.
​
.png)
.png)
Virtual
Kitchen
_edited.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
We're a Virtual Kitchen!
Well, we will be as soon as I have stable housing. The little apartment I'm currently staying in on a farm doesn't have good enough interwebs for streaming anything.
​
The idea is, I'll go live on my YouTube channel whenever I'm fulfilling orders for the day.
You'll get to watch the hot mess live and interact via chat.
​
I am seriously not a content creator. Keep your expectations low here.
For proof, go ahead and checkout my YouTube channel to see how bad I am.
I'm not a fan of being on camera but it's a necessary evil.
.png)
.png)
Options
Delivery
.png)
Sketched out by ordering on a strange website? Order on DoorDash instead!
Don't be surprised when you see higher prices, though. DoorDash takes a huge chunk.
.png)
.png)
Place a pickup order and meet us at the truck stop to pretend we're making a seedy exchange.
You'll get a text and/or email letting you know when it's ready.
.png)
.png)
.png)
Schedule a time for delivery within 50 miles of Marysville, WA.
Gas is too expensive for it to be free, though. :/
.png)
Get your order shipped via USPS Priority mail anywhere within the US.
Orders are made fresh and shipped within 24-48 business hours.
.png)
.png)
Online
Ordering
Crisis Cookies
A delightfully average, 5in cookie cake. Ribbed for your pleasure.
Be naughty and take it all in one sitting.
Mother Fudger
Melt in your mouth fudge for when your butt's sore from life constantly kicking it.
.png)
.png)
Moon Mallows
Oooey gooey marshmallows made with honey, star dust, and existential dread.
Crazy Cones
Conical confections for when hormones go berserk and your mood is as salty and sweet as your cravings.
Panic Pops
These creations pop when they get excited.
Bumbling Brews
Cottage Food laws prevent us from doing much here, but oh the places we will go when we can make this happen.
Mad
Lab
Step into our basement and become willing participants in our random experiments.
Will the strange concoction be a resounding success or a complete falure?
That's for your to decide!
Experiments
.png)
.png)
Fabulous Floofs
Our furry emotional support system deserve treats too.
Ghastly Garments
Horrendously branded merchandise of dubious quality.
Postal
Pondering
Hello Long Distance Friends!
We ship within the United States via USPS Priority Mail.
​
Shipping rates are a flat rate based on how impatient you are.
​
Orders are made fresh and shipped within 24 - 48 hours.
Frequently asked questions
Looking
For Pickup or Delivery?