Quicky Time!

When life turns to crap, there's nothing like eating a classic chocolate chip cookie to release some happy brain chemicals. Except we added extra chocolate and made it a 5in cookie cake.

Insanely addictive oatmeal butterscotch cookie that may not help your waistline but is probably a better addiction than crack. Baked into a 5in cookie cake that's crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside for the best of both worlds. 

For days when you wish aliens would abduct you to escape the madness, this chocolate chunk brownie will have you seeing stars. Indulge in this 5in cookie cake topped with ganache and our own cosmic blend. 

Our buddy at the docks won't tell us where he gets his amazing coffee from, but one cup had us hooked. We added it to a fudge brownie, then topped it with ganache, toffee bits and caramel. 

An assortment of Fudge Packer, Cult Joiner, and Mallow Drama petite puckers.

An assortment of Fudge Packer, Cult Joiner, and Mallow Drama petite puckers. All with nuts.

Stolen directly from Buzz Aldrin's basement, these lunar rocks are the real deal. They've even retained the Moon's gravity, making them extra light and fluffy.

Not to be confused with alien hemorrhoids, these treats made with toasted crispies, brown butter, and homemade mallows, won't burn on the way out.

For when you're hungry like a wolf and raging at traffic. Choose your mixtape flavor, and let the profanity fly. All mixtapes come in a convenient waffle cone holder. Mixtapes: MadBatter Blend - Mini M&Ms, Muddy Buddies, Salted Pecans, Topped with a Portly Lunar Rock Nuts R Us - Reese's Pieces, Almond M&Ms, Salted Peanuts, Pecans, Topped with a Portly Lunar Rock Sugar Rush - Mini M&Ms, Petite Lunar Rocks, Shooting Stars (Basic Bitch Style) Cornucopia - Popcorn, Mini M&Ms

A perfectly good Comfort Crisis Cookie gets destroyed, smushed into a ball, stuffed, a stick shoved inside, then dunked in molten goo. All so you can munch it down in 1 or 2, convenient, mess free bites.

A perfectly good Crack Crisis Cookie gets destroyed, smushed into a ball, stuffed, a stick shoved inside, then dunked in molten goo. All so you can munch it down in 1 or 2, convenient, mess free bites.

A perfectly good Cosmic Crisis Cookie gets destroyed, smushed into a ball, stuffed, a stick shoved inside, then dunked in molten goo. All so you can munch it down in 1 or 2, convenient, mess free bites.

A perfectly good Columbian Cartel Crisis Cookie gets destroyed, smushed into a ball, stuffed, a stick shoved inside, then dunked in molten goo. All so you can munch it down in 1 or 2, convenient, mess free bites.

A perfectly good S'more Whore Crisis Cookie gets destroyed, smushed into a ball, stuffed, a stick shoved inside, then dunked in molten goo. All so you can munch it down in 1 or 2, convenient, mess free bites. Just kidding! I don't actually have a s'more cookie yet. Still experimenting. But the pops are filled with fudge brownie, homemade mallow, and Teddy Grahams then covered in ganache.

The monster under your bed may be the stuff of nightmares, but their poo is delightfully squishy and sweet. Don't worry, we brushed off the dust bunnies. Those lil jerks are almost as fiesty as the monster.

Not so basic bitch popcorn. Ok, it's kinda basic bitch popcorn, but not. You'll get what I mean when you try it.

Spring water flavored with fruit essence, and a drop of shimmery dew, collected from the star we wish upon every night, but the bitch never listens.

What your partner lacks between the sheets, we make up for with this treat. These fudge clusters are pure bliss that'll leave your mouth salivating for more.

You'll receive a cup of random leftovers from the creation process. One cup could have fudge spluge and mallow turds. Another could have extra bits of crispy mallow treats. It all depends on what we make from week to week.

Got a grass grazing pooch who thinks turds are tasty treats? Our turds are undigested and maggot free so they're admittedly less exotic, but you won't have to worry about fecal transfer if your pup gives you a surprise french kiss after eating. Our turds are the healthiest thing on the menu. Made with sweet potato and honey or peanut butter and banana, then topped with undusted Lunar Rocks for a pooch friendly sweet treat.

A premium blend of catnip that'll have your lil demon scaling the fridge and breaking into the cabinet you never thought they'd find it in. Includes a free twirlaboo for ultimate kitty krazies.