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Pardon the Mess - Currently Experiencing Technical Difficulties
Drowning in snot thanks to the yellow cloud of doom? Use code POLLEN to get 10% off goodies you can't taste.
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Midlife Crisis in Progress
I'm a single mom running a cottage food bakery out of our tiny, bottom of the line kitchen.
After 4 layoffs over the past 6 years, my career in software development is officially dead, and I'm mad about it.
Mad enough to say f*ck corporate America and do my own thing.
Join me as I battle the corporate overlords one batch at a time.
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Currently
Stress Baking
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Crisis Cookies
A delightfully average, 5in cookie cake. Ribbed for your pleasure.
Be naughty and take it all in one sitting.
Comfort
Crisis Cookie
When life turns to crap, there's nothing like eating a classic chocolate chip cookie to release some happy brain chemicals.
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Crack
Crisis Cookie
An insanely addictive oatmeal butterscotch cookie that may not help your waistline but is probably a better addiction than crack.
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Cosmic
Crisis Cookie
For days when you wish aliens would abduct you to escape the madness, this chocolate chunk brownie will have you seeing stars.
Columbian Cartel
Crisis Cookie
Our buddy at the docks won't tell us where he gets his amazing coffee from, but one cup had us hooked. We added it to a fudge brownie, then topped it with ganache, toffee bits and caramel.
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Mother Fudger
Melt in your mouth fudge for when your butt's sore from life constantly kicking it.
Fudge Packer
Mother Fudger
Give in to temptation and indulge in this sinful mix of chocolate and peanut jizz. We can even make it crunchy for those with texture kinks.
Cult Joiner
Mother Fudger
One bite of this velvety chocolate fudge and you'll be under our spell forever.
*May cause uncontrollable smiling, warm & fuzzy feelings, tooth decay, & long term mental trauma.
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Mallow Drama
Mother Fudger
Annoyed with the constant tantrums, we decided to show our baby mallows what a meltdown really looks like and tossed them in a pot with some white chocolate in an effort to preserve our sanity.
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Moon Mallows
Oooey gooey marshmallows made with honey, star dust, and existential dread.
Lunar Rocks
Moon Mallows
Stolen directly from Buzz Aldrin's basement, these lunar rocks are the real deal. They've even retained the Moon's gravity, making them extra light and fluffy.
Asteroids
Moon Mallow
Not to be confused with alien hemorrhoids, these astronomically gooey & crispy treats won't burn on the way out.
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Crazy Cones
Conical confections for when hormones go berserk and your mood is as salty and sweet as your cravings.
Traffic Mix
Crazy Cone
For when you're hungry like a wolf and raging at traffic. Choose your mixtape flavor, and let the profanity fly.
Stabby Stabby
Crazy Cone
While we do NOT condone actually stabbing people, pretending to be psychotic while performing a stabbing motion in the general vicinity of your intended victim is an effective form of psychological warfare. Maybe today's the day Mom really loses her shit. Ya never know.
This mallow and crisp treat, shaped like a cone, and rammed on a stick, is an excellent prop for those stabby, stabby moments.
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Panic Pops
These creations pop when they get excited.
Party Popper
Panic Pop
Not so basic bitch popcorn. Ok, it's kinda basic bitch popcorn, but not. You'll get what I mean when you try it.
Manic Munch
Panic Pops
A perfectly good Crisis Cookie gets destroyed, smushed into a ball, stuffed, a stick shoved inside, then dunked in molten goo. All so you can munch it down in 1 or 2, convenient, mess free bites.
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Sucker Punch
Panic Pops
Perfect practice for sucking on hard things, or remembering the glory days when you weren't judged for needing a pacifier to calm your nerves, these suckers hit all the right spots.
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Monster Poo
Panic Pop
The monster under your bed may be the stuff of nightmares, but their poo is delightfully squishy and sweet. Don't worry, we brushed off the dust bunnies. Those lil jerks are almost as fiesty as the monster.
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Mother Fudger
Panic Pops
Petite puckers of fudge on a stick for double the price of one without a stick. Why double the price? Labels. Mother fuckin labels. I hand cut every label. Every pop has 2 labels that also have to be attached to tiny cellophane bags. I should probably charge more so you'll pay double and like it.
Bumbling Brews
Cottage Food laws prevent us from doing much here, but oh the places we will go when we can make this happen.
Star Dew
Bumbling Brew
Spring water flavored with fruit essence, and a drop of shimmery dew, collected from the star we wish upon every night, but the bitch never listens.
Mad
Step into our basement and become willing participants in our random experiments.
Will the strange concoction be a resounding success or a complete falure?
That's for your to decide!
Experiments
Lab
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Fudgegasm
MadLab Experiment
What your partner lacks between the sheets, we make up for with this treat. These fudge clusters are pure bliss that'll leave your mouth salivating for more.
Sloppy Seconds
Random Spluge
You'll receive a cup of random leftovers from the creation process. One cup could have fudge runoff, and mallow turds. Another could have extra bits of crispy mallow treats. It all depends on what we make from week to week.
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Fabulous Floofs
Our furry emotional support system deserve treats too.
Tasty Turds
Fab Floofs
Got a grass grazing pooch who thinks turds are tasty treats? Our turds are undigested and maggot free so they're admittedly less exotic, but you won't have to worry about fecal transfer if your pup gives you a surprise french kiss after eating.
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Hissy Fit
Fab Floofs
A premium blend of catnip that'll have your cat scaling the fridge and breaking into the cabinet you never thought they'd find it in.
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Options
Delivery
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Sketched out by ordering on a strange website? Order on DoorDash instead!
Don't be surprised when you see higher prices, though. DoorDash takes a huge chunk.
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Place a pickup order and meet us in our driveway to pretend we're making a seedy exchange.
You'll get a text and/or email letting you know when it's ready.
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Schedule a time for delivery within 20 miles of Niceville, FL.
FREE delivery if you order $50 or more.
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Get your order shipped via USPS Priority mail anywhere within the US.
Orders are made fresh and shipped within 24-48 business hours.
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